Apparently, this is a true story and real recording from the WordPerfect Helpline.

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Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?
Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.
What sort of trouble??
Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Went away?
They disappeared.
Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Nothing.
Nothing??
It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.
Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
How do I tell?
Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?
What's a sea-prompt?
Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.
Does your monitor have a power indicator??
What's a monitor?
It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
I don't know.
Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??
Yes, I think so.
Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Yes, it is.
When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
No.
Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Okay, here it is.
Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.
I can't reach.
OK. Well, can you see if it is?
No.
Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.
Dark?
Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Well, turn on the office light then.
I can't.
No? Why not?
Because there's a power failure.
A power...a power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?
Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Really? Is it that bad?
Yes, I'm afraid it is.
Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!

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The Help Desk employee was apparently fired; however, he is reportedly suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

The above story may not be true but I think it's lesson is truer than fiction.

It's not love at first byte, usually

Once upon a time, I dreaded the sight of a computer. In writing my school reports, I remember using an Olivetti typewriter. My sister and I would take turns in typing lengthy reports for our school assignments (she'll take the first shift of 6pm to 9pm and I'll take the midnight shift of 9mn to 12am).

You see, when I was in college, around late 80's, computers were just starting to be introduced in schools. I think it was in 1986 when PUP started offering a course in computer data management and programming. It was a new thing then and because I didn't know anything about computers, I didn't take the course. I said it's only for people with brains.

When I started working in early 90's, that's when I was introduced to Wordstar. I learned it quickly and loved it. It was also my first introduction to html codings. Then came Apple but didn't use it much because I can't seem to handle the mouse properly.

When I came to Saudi, I had my first taste of WordPerfect and Lotus. After some years, they were all replaced by Microsoft Word and Excel.

It's not entirely eeeewww-learning

The unknown is always fearful. It's normal to say eeewww (the sound I make when disdained) but once I learn it, everything becomes a breeze.

With years of computer use, I now know the basics (and I only mastered a fraction of it because of constant use).

In the office, my personal mantra is that if a report is 60% numbers and 40% words, use Excel. If it's all words, use MS Word. I know of some people who would make a balance sheet report using MS Word. Oh, I hate that! Excel is a very good tool at automatic calculations and its wonder (as a program) is incredible. I did use it to automate our salary slips but for some reason, our accountant failed to follow the instructions and therefore screwed all his numbers. He blamed me for it. He also blamed Excel.

People stop learning because they chose to.

IT's interesting

There are programs that interest me but I'm easily dissuaded once they become too complicated for me to learn.

Last night, at home, I ventured the Macromedia Flash hoping to be able to create a movie file for my quotes (see that huge comma on the right column of this post? I want that to appear and disappear and reappear one at a time. And it has be clickable so readers will be taken to the post where the quotes were from). I stopped as soon as I failed to generate the same result as that of the instructions, no matter how diligently I followed it to the letter.

But I'm sure one of these days, I'll return to it until I get the knack of it.

No one's too old to learn IT

My father at 75 is very keen in learning how to use the computer and would sometimes cajole her grandkids to teaching him how to play computer games. Meanwhile, my mother has chosen to be oblivious to anything electronic. She does not even use a cellphone.

I think however that even in old age, we shouldn't stop learning. At an old age, it's all the more important that we learn new things. I believe when the time comes that we stop learning, then that's the time we become literally old and gray.

IT's therapeutic

In an Alzheimer literature I found online, I highlighted the following interesting points about computer learning:

• Mental exercises are not only a powerful preventative measure, they can slow down, halt or even help to reverse the disease. The good news is you're never too old to start boosting your brainpower.
• The brain is like muscles in your body in that if you exercise it you can make it stronger, but if you don't it will get weaker. Studies have shown that staying mentally active can slash the chance of getting Alzheimer's disease by half!
• Fun mental games for the brain: Bridge card game, solitaire, Sudoku, crossword puzzles, scrabbles.
• Blogging is a good mental work for old people. (No, they didn't say that. But they said learn to build your own websites. I think it's almost the same thing. Ah...and I also added the word 'for old people').