Merry Christmas

'Twas two nights before Christmas, when all through the house, all the creatures are stirring, I think even the mouse.

Tomorrow will be the much awaited Noche Buena. In our place, tonight will be the last day of Simbang Gabi (we started on the 15th at 7 pm). I failed to complete it and only managed two out of nine (considering that the chapel is only a few blocks and a few turns from our house). It's cold here in Antipolo, particularly in the place we live in. Today it was also raining a bit.

So what will be our Noche Buena feast tomorrow? Simple. Chicken sopas for the soul, a box of Ube cake, my sister's salad (up to now she's still hasn't decided whether it's buko salad, fruit or macaroni). We received three boxes of hams (which really tasted like meat loaves). On the 25th, it will be a simple lunch of inihaw and sabaw. There'll be a few visitors I know. Relatives who've learned of my vacation and so will be in queue for Dove soap, Dove shampoo and Dove lotion.

This Christmas will be different from last year because we only had a few gifts 'neath the Christmas tree. Since my sister lost her job, she cut down her shopping expenses to the barest essential (I saw that there was still one gift for me; there used to be at least two).

I also didn't buy much gifts this Christmas. For a few friends and for my mother, I bought booklets of 'Our Daily Bread' and 'Didache'. For my father, a planner. For my two nieces, hats.

Surprisingly too, I didn't see much Christmas lights around our area. Houses are lit minimally (must be the rising electric bills). Carolers too are not that a-plenty.

Hey, the first Christmas didn't happen in a first class hospital! It was in a manger! So let's not lose track of whose birthday we are celebrating on the 25th!

Things have changed but not the Christmas spirit. My nieces are still excited about opening up their presents (although I know they've already peeked inside), my sister is still excited about her salad, relatives will come and visit and stories, new and old, will be told with gusto over a simple lunch.

Tomorrow, the much awaited day comes. To Jesus, happy birthday! And to everyone, a very merry Christmas.

Padala and pabilin

Local phone calls from friends on the day of an OFW's departure can only mean three things: he wants to say goodbye or he has something for you to take to someone for him in the Philippines or he has a grocery list for you. Either way, it saddens me.

Padala

That's the thing I hate the most in going on vacation to the Philippines. There are Filipinos who are just too thick-skinned to realize that maybe I'm over-baggaged or maybe I'd be too busy to do errands for them.

And because I am not immune to such people, my conditions are basically simple:

  • I will only take your 'padala' if you haven't been home to the Philippines for more than two years. (I have friends who have been here in Saudi for five straight years);
  • Limit it to no more than two kilos.
  • Meeting place with your relatives must be nowhere farther than Cubao or POEA Ortigas.
  • If you are to insist in meeting your relatives in a location of your choosing, you must be willing to shoulder my taxi fare.
  • If you wanted me to send your 'padala' through LBC, then you should shoulder the freight charges.
Pabili(n)

Apart from 'padala', Filipinos are also very keen in give me a 'grocery list' (normally mango, Kowloon siopao, Goldiluck's pulvoron, glutathion soap and cream, etc). My conditions are likewise simple:

  • Be specific about the items (is it cream or ointment?, is the size small, medium or large?, is the color black, blue or gray?, etc).
  • Send me money.
  • Weight of groceries must be no more than one kilo per person.
  • I will not bring the following: smelly tuyo and daing (there are dried fishes available in the Saudi market), bagoong, pirated CD movies, religious items, pork or any pork derivatives, etc. (My point here is that if they cannot bring the items themselves when they go on leave, why would they let others bring it for them).
Some experiences I had with regard to padala and pabili.

A friend asked me to bring a sum of money for his father's hospitalization. I was specific that I wouldn't be able to deliver the money until after three days. He said yes. When I reached home, I got a call saying that they needed the money NOW. I ended up traveling back to Manila that same day. My family was upset but understood too the situation.

A friend once asked me to bring his bowling ball because he was over-baggaged. I said no.

A friend once sent me a bottle of lotion (costing SAR 12, around PHP 120) and asked me to take it to Cavite. I took it back to Saudi.

I mistakenly bought white V-neck shirts and the kabayan who asked for it paid the tab but didn't take the shirts. He wanted a round-neck white shirt. Because of pride, I returned the money and provided an excuse that I liked the shirts and would use it. I ended up taking it back to the Philippines on my next leave.

No OFW is free from 'padala' and 'pabili'. Although guilt-stricken, I don't think it's bad to say no sometimes.

Annually being with my family is joyful

I'm leaving on a jetplane but, unlike what the song says, I know when I'll be back again. I fly on the 8th this month and return on the 3rd of January.

This is my nth vacation since I started work in Saudi. This is also the saddest,the busiest and hopefully, the most joyful.

My mother is still sick. She has gone out of the hospital now but when I last spoke to her, her medicines are still giving her constant dizziness. Her doctor has already lowered the dosages. I told her maybe she needs to stop taking those medicines (for heart ailment, for her weakening bones and lungs, etc), but she said she's afraid that her condition will worsen if she doesn't take them. She's getting old now. Although her will remains strong, her body's frail now and slowly weakening. I'm certain one of my future vacations will be the last time that I'd see her. (I pray not this time, Lord, and the next and the next...).

I will be extremely busy at home this vacation. Since my sister lost her job, she's been constantly in charge at home -- budgeting, doing errands, taking care of her two daughters and two elders and a husband. She wasn't used to that. She worked for 15 years and was used to being a 'career woman'. Although she has acclimatized with her new 'home career' (as I kiddingly tell her), I know deep inside that she's suffering and would gladly wanted to find a job soon. During this leave, I'd be taking from her some of her menial obligations -- cleaning the house, marketing and, yes, cooking. (My sister's a registered Dietician and she always tells us that a dietician doesn't necessarily mean she's a good cook. Because, honestly, she isn't).

Finally, I need to assist my father whose penchance is building (his) houses. He is neither an architect nor an engineer, but he's the one who supervised the building of our house in Angono, our for-rent house in Mandaluyong and now his 'bahay-kubo' in his small farm land. (His third house, the 'bahay kubo', is not a simple bahay kubo at all. He has architectural plans made for it! I don't know where he thinks we'll get the money to build the house but I always tell my sister: Don't contradict an old man's claim or you'll end up in a bigger fight).

My father was a factory supervisor all his life and even after his retirement (some fifteen years ago!), he still wants to perform a lot of supervision. The two previous houses he built have that similar problem: leaking rooftops. My father said: it's his workers' faults. Again: old man's claim, big fight, shut up.

We ended up losing our tenant because of that leak. In this my Christmas vacation, my sister and I will have to find new workers to fix that rooftop. We can't re-roof of course but an engineer friend told me to re-apply a waterproof paint over the cemented roof. Sounds costly and scary!

Some OFW's take their vacation as a rest period. The truth is: my body is more well-rested when in Saudi (what's there to be tired about in Saudi when my daily routine is work-home-work-home!). In the Philippines, while on vacation, I never rest.

The joy from that is that I get to be with my family and they get to be with me. A tired body, a peaceful heart and my family's smiling faces, they're my spirit's balm for true joy. Once a year, at least.

Lessons about (falling in and out) of love

I've been in and out of it quite a number of times. I've seen people who flew and flopped falling in love. I've watched too many tear-jerkers on tv. Here are my love lessons from all of them.

When you feel like going into an illicit affair, don't. If you walk on an anthill, ants will bite you.

If you fall in love, leave some love for yourself.

If you fall in love, expect the fall but rise afterwards.

All the time, when we're in a relationship, we always see 'the one for us' -- THAT RIGHT ONE. Don't be fooled. Take it from Vilma Santos, Junjun. When you're in love, your heart will always play tricks on you. Whoever you're with now is the right one.

Be faithful. Be loyal. It's difficult but it normally pays off.

Lust is not love. Always, lust leaves you with a bitter aftertaste. Love is sweeter.

When you're hot and horny, take a bath. Sud. And then take a bath again. Rinse well.

Don't mess with someone else's love affair. Don't let others mess with yours. Unless it's the legal authorities.

Wash well everyday. Change your underwear everyday. You won't know where you'll end up tonight.

Take time to be sweet. But not much.

Lover's quarrel is part of a good relationship. Treat it like adding a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper to your food. Too much is never good.

When you're angry, be still. Some good relationships are ruined because we say words we didn't mean.

Give. Learn to give. When a relationship ends, it's the giver who feels stronger.

When you're in a relationship, don't do things separately. Do it together. Eat together, sleep together, walk together.

Finally, when you fall in love, be honest. Be true. Be wise. And believe. Believe that the relationship will work. Believe that it will last. Believing has it's way of making all things possible.

Seven last works

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