A family makes a home

A personal view: We, Filipinos, are admired by our work standard. We are preferred employees to many companies in many countries because we regard the quality of our work highly. The sad part is that when we're abroad, we let our guards down and we lose our morals. “Man," Albert Schweitzer once said, "must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will - his personal responsibility in the realm of faith and morals."

If this is how your family structure is constructed, I believe sooner or later, it is bound to crumble to pieces.



Isn't it time we review how we lead our OFW lives? Let's remember what originally brought us to where we are now. Didn't we promise our family that we will give them our best? sacrifice on their behalf? endure so that their lives can be better?



This is my personal call for you to join PEBA 2010 with the theme “Strengthening the OFW Families: Stronger Homes for a Stronger Nation”. Let us hear what you have to say.

Post-script:

This post contained revised graphs. Originally posted graphs are as below until I realized (via Ed of Blogusvox comment) that what we should keep at a level is our standard for material needs, not our family standards. Ed is right; let's keep our family standard high and up!

PEBA 3 nomination is on

PEBA 2010 theme: “Strengthening the OFW Families: Stronger Homes for a Stronger Nation”.
The family is the smallest unit of society but musn't we all admit that it's the strongest and the most influential and therefore the most important? It is where everything begins, where everything is formed, where the first values are learned, where the formative attitudes are inculcated, where discipline emanate from.

For this year's Philippine Expat/OFW Blog Awards Inc (PEBA), it is only timely (and timeless) that it zeroes in on Filipino families, particularly, of OFWs.

I personally do not believe that the absence of parents from home is an absence of morales and values. We Filipinos, of all people, are tightly-knit. We regard our aunts, cousins and other relatives as an extension of our family. We learn, not just from our parents, but also from our cousins, from grandparents, from aunts. The truth however is this: "Parental absence creates displacement, disruptions and changes in care giving arrangement. There is always an emotional aspect that goes along with parents leaving their children, especially for long periods of time" (Reyes 2008).

“When men migrate, the leftbehind wives indeed assumed more responsibilities with their dual roles as fathers and mothers. But when women migrate, it appears that families go through more adjustments – this is not surprising because changes in women’s roles often have more implications for the family than changes in men’s roles. If women assume men’s responsibilities when the men are not around, men do not as readily take up care giving" (Scalabrini 2004).

More than the question of how, I am taken aback by the question of why OFWs would cause and allow the breakdown of a marriage; why there are OFW children who go astray.

Sadness is akin to all Filipinos abroad, but I personally do not think there is an excuse to leave your family just because you're sad in Saudi or Kuwait or UK or Australia. Sadness is the lamest excuse to break the bond (and vows) of marriage.

Perhaps we will learn more of these issue when bloggers around the world (OFW, Pinoy expats, or Philippine-based bloggers) express their thoughts on the theme.

And so PEBA encourages you to take part in this PEBA 3 nomination stage. Please feel free to visit PEBA's site for more details on how you can join the contest.

Let your voices be heard, kabayan! Somewhere, someone may have the soundest solution to our problems. All together, let's join hands in strengthening the smallest unit of our society: the family. In it, I personally believe, lies the solution to all our woes.

Sourced, inspired by and adapted from the following: 
NJ Abad’s article formally announcing the commencement of PEBA 3 Awards Season!
Migration and Filipino Children Left-Behind: A Literature Review by Melanie M. Reyes Miriam College – Women and Gender Institute (WAGI) for the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF).
Hearts Apart: Migration in the Eyes of Filipino Children. Manila: Episcopal Commission for the Pastoral Care of Migrants and Itinerant People – CBCP/Apostleship of the Sea-Manila, Scalabrini Center and Overseas Workers Welfare Administration.

Three days, three thoughts -- still of Kuwait

Wednesday, the 7th.

What's the most unexciting part for a newbie than to sit in front of a PC without an internet access while loads of file folders of technically-termed words are waiting to be read and digested.

For three days now, I really feel bored going to the office.

Honestly, I feel guilty because all I did for the past days is pretend that I'm digesting what I'm reading. The truth is: I feel sleepy most of the time. A nice colleague told me: 'You're at the bottom of the learning curve for now so you should take it easy.' I can only agree with her.

In front of me are terms like subrogation, consequential losses, liquidated damages, tralala which I really have no idea of.

But I'm sure with the passing of days (unless I get fired for bumming around), I will ultimately learn the work by heart (and my learning curve will soon be up and running).

Nothing eventful has happened since I arrived in Kuwait. I know that this place and the work I've been hired in are both exciting and that I'm going to learn a lot from both. All I've to do for now is open up myself to new learnings. My state now is unexciting but it's only temporary. Might as well enjoy the wait because, after all, isn't life's excitements lie on the surprises that come while waiting?

Thursday, the 8th.

Kuwait is so Saudi in a lot of ways -- hot, humid, Arabic, booze-less and pork-less.

But in a lot of ways, it is also different.

Women can drive here;
There are fewer Filipinos;
Practice of religion is open (there are Catholic churches here);
There are cinemas too;
Everything is costly (housing facilities, telecom, commodities, transportation, etc) in comparison to Saudi.

I went to a fish market in Al Koot, in Fahaheel.  It's airconditioned, the light is subdued, and the fish vendors are in white gown and boots.  Pristine.  Costly.

Friday, the 9th.

Attended a Tagalog mass today at Ahmadi, at the Parish Church of Our Lady of Arabia.  The priest, at the beginning of the mass, introduced a 'special guest'.  I thought he was referring to Jesus, the main celebrator.  We learned later that one of the attendees is the newly-appointed Philippine Ambassador to Kuwait Shulan O Primavera.  I didn't clap when he was introduced because, at the back of my mind, I thought he stole Jesus' thunder.

The reading was on The Good Samaritan.  The homily was a bit lengthy, and I can't help but notice that my seatmate kept looking at his watch.  At the end of the mass, Ambassador Primavera gave a short speech (he can't say no to a Father, he said, referring to the priest who requested that he deliver a short talk.  To myself I said:  politicians!).  I thought he looks like Rey Langit and his voice is Langit-like:  deep, clear and easy to the ears.  He introduced his work staff and he encouraged us to be good samaritans to our needy kababayans.  In my heart, I wished him well.  Out of respect, I clapped after his speech.  I noticed though that he didn't genuflect when he walked in mid-aisle.  He would have earned my admiration had he did.

Ain't I an ass?  Blame it on my Saudi withdrawal blues (which I'm hope would be over soon!).  It's making me say -- write -- stupid things!

Blue in Kuwait

What makes a home, really. I say:  it's the people living in it.

I'm now in Kuwait. Since Sunday evening. This is my new location now since I left Saudi Arabia in search for a greener pasture, er, should I say: oilier place?

There's so much that I miss of Saudi -- my room most especially even if it's not as beautiful as where I live now (temporarily for the next two weeks).

I miss my bed which is half the size (and half the beauty) as where I currently lay my head now. I realized now it's not the bed that makes a comfortable sleep. It's the feeling of peace. (My Saudi bed, no matter how it looks, always gives me a sleep of the just).



Our Saudi kitchen (where I cook my uber-fave saluyot) which is nowhere near the fancy kitchen where I, alone, cook and take my dinner.

Our Saudi living room which is small and almost bare of necessities but where my flatmates (Ren and Edgar) chat during Thursday and Friday lunches. My living room here is beautiful but I haven't had a good laugh here since I arrived.



I miss our Saudi loo because no matter how it looks, I poo there regularly. I haven't mighty poo-ed in the lovely loo here.


I so feel like Marius of Les Mis singing Empty Chairs at Empty Tables while I dine alone in this fancy table.

I really feel blue. Good thing I brought my ever-dependable Holy Bible and Rosary which never cease to lift my downtrodden spirit.

I so miss Saudi -- my friends, my life, our flat for the past eight years -- but I guess that's the only thing I can do now -- miss it. Before long, I will totally get over it.

Haaay, buhay OFW.

No matter how fancy your place is, if you don't have your friends and loved ones to share it with, there is the absence of joy.

Seven last works

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