Over lunch break in our office pantry, I picked up a thought from an officemate while we were having a chat about how sorry I feel whenever I see a queue of 'kadama' (Kuwait's term for househelp) at Kuwait Airport.

He narrated that the other day, he saw a throng of young Pinays at the airport lobby waiting for someone to collect them. It was 12 noon and the 20 kabayans have been waiting since six in the morning. Their eyes are all afraid and hungry and tired. Their agency collected them at 1pm. In the next few days, they will be mobilized to work in various Kuwaiti homes.

'Ilan kaya sa kanila ang magiging run-away?', my officemate asked.

And the conversations segued on why of all the many attritions committed against Filipino maids, only a few abusive employers go punished. (I can only recall a case of Dubai couple who were sentenced to three years for killing their Filipino maid).

And the discussions further segued on how 'ultimate justice' for Pinay victims means getting sent home to the Philippine. Oh yes, plus PHP10,000 from OWWA (and a photo opportunity from local politicians).

And we started questioning why:

1/ We continue to send Pinays in Kuwait and in other countries known for its atrocities towards Filipina maids;

2/ Most of our kababayans have this notion that going abroad will provide them comfort. (For half of us millions of OFWs, going abroad spells further sufferings, torture of various kinds, and sometimes death. For the other half who chanced upon favourable luck, Maslow's hierarchy of needs take control: our family is well off and provided for, yet they suffer the agony of our love's absence);

3/ How easily (and at a profit, if I may add) can agencies in the Philippines betray our fellow kabayans, especially women;

4/ Pinoys know beforehand how meager their income is yet venture in Kuwait as food attendants or beauticians or masseurs. Income for a food attendant at McDonalds' in Kuwait is said to be around KD100; for a beautician KD50; for masseurs, KD60. And they all had to spend for their own catering and accommodation (averaging KD40). Final tally every end month? Go figure. And so they end up getting 'reinforcement' through various means;

5/ We waste time saving guilty kabayans abroad who get jailed for murder or peddling drugs. Why not focus on our kabayans worthy of saving -- they're countless out there.

Haaay...kaaba-aba.

Our discussions are not all dark-and-dreary.

Only in the Middle East will you be able to report to work even if you don't have money for transport. Normally, we all have communal transport or our transport expenses are paid for.

When abroad, we seldom go hungry because other kabayans are normally very open in sharing their blessings to others.

When abroad, I am more religious in attending Sunday's Holy Masses and weekday's Bible studies. I also read my Bible, nightly. Not in the Philippines.

Abroad, it's easier to earn respect from your office mates. In the Philippines, the competition among peers is stiff. It's even tougher with 24/7 politicking.

When abroad, our life's daily pressure is limited. Sometimes it's as mundane as finding dahon ng sili for our tinola, or how we can control -- without much sweat -- our being bloated.

Haaay...kaawa-awa.

This may come as a surprise to some, but it's nothing new.

Yes -- men, like women, gossip.

Whether it's less or more is debatable.

For someone who worked in the Middle East for a long time, I've seen how a kabayan would rumor-monger about a colleague who pissed him off, or about someone else's wife (and life), or about his boss who never changes his clothes, or who has halitosis in the office, or who has a thryst with whom, etc.

In my transfer to Kuwait, I learned the juiciest chismis about the office from male colleagues (partly because in our office, men outnumber women 8:1). In Saudi where I never had a chance to work with women, it's pretty obvious that the juicy 'news' about other people's lives were dished out by male colleagues.

Read this line from an article in UK Telegraph: A study "...found that men felt better about themselves when they criticised another person's behaviour. It gave them a sense of moral superiority and showed others that they knew the difference between right and wrong." Instead of calling it gossiping, "they call it networking instead".

In an NYT article, it reads that cavewomen invented gossiping "to pass the time while the guys were out hunting mastodons...In an era when the mastodons come frozen from the supermarket, it seems that men have discovered there might be something interesting about this 'gossip' thing after all."

Men indulge in gossip more than women about secret liaisons, inept lovers and overpaid colleagues, according to Daily Trust article.

It helps boost their confidence, says in the article's survey of American college students.

Holly Hom, a PhD student at the University of Virginia who did the survey, asked a group of students to write a weekly diary, noting how they felt when they gossiped about people. She said it was clear that both sexes enjoyed passing on mischievous information about others, but men enjoyed it more.

Presenting her findings at the American Psychological Society's annual conference in Toronto, she said the report challenged the widely-held view that women gossiped more than men. She said: "Men definitely seem to be getting more out of gossiping than women."

"We found that men felt better about themselves when they criticised another person's behaviour. It gave them a sense of moral superiority and showed others that they knew the difference between right and wrong."

In Philippine mileau, showbiz gossip shows sell not only among women but also among men. The showbiz talk shows niche which used to be dominated by women like Inday Badiday and Christy Fermin and feisty-talking hosts like Boy Abunda and Alfie Lorenzo, now see the presence of straight men like Paolo Bediones and Joey de Leon and straight-looking men like Ricky Lo and Butch Francisco).

TMZ, that gossip franchise on TV (also seen in the Middle East over DubaiOne), has straight men reporting (er, dishing out) news in an office-type sorrounding where everyone is engaged in a chit-chat about the lives of celebrity they've recently photographed or caught on video.

Miss Hom added that rather than creating strife in the office, gossip tended to relieve the stress of arduous work and the long hours spent in front of a computer screen. She said: "It is a vital function of social inter-action. Often it helps to break the ice among people."

No longer should we feel guilty then. On to another discussion about someone else's life! Hehe.


The borderline between gossiping and telling stories is slim. The borderline between a good and bad chismis is likewise thin. I read from somewhere that if you are embarrased being named as the source of an information, then why spread it in the first place. Or if the line starts with 'atin-atin lang 'to', it definitely is chismis. Most likely it's true and most likely it's private hence NOYB (or none of your business). Unless it's okay for you to be the butt of chismis next time, then shun away from it. Unless you can manly say 'yes' when someone blurts out: sabi ni ano, sinabi mo raw e!, then be the pitstop of chismis. Take it from me; I've been inconvenienced by knowing and talking too much.

If someone talks about someone else's lives, and not his', stare and pretend to listen. I learned that if we act unexcited about a 'chismis' (poker-faced, looking elsewhere as if in a hurry for something more important, or standing up as if to get coffee or photocopy or something), then we'll be spared from being the pipeline of chismis.

I admit though that it's enjoyable hearing about other people's lives. Is it a sin to secretly derive satisfaction from a chismis? Is it still a sin if a chismis stops with me?

Regardless of whether it's girly, gayly or manly, gossiping will always be in our lives -- directly, indirectly, otherwise -- in the office, at home or even in the streets. I guess what we can do about it is put some sense to it. We are, after all, all thinking being. What's that golden rule again? Don't do to others what you don't want others to do unto you. And yes, if the urge to gossip persists, consult your doctor, or make sure you have medical insurances in case someone hits you for being a rumor-monger.

To scare ourselves last night, November 1, my flatmate and I decided to watch Paranormal 2 at Cinescape in Al Koot in Fahaheel, Kuwait.

It was the first time that I saw the cinema full. On three occasions that I ventured Cinescape in Al Koot, I always find the cinemahouses almost empty. But last night, it surprised me that the theater was a third full.

So those media blurbs may be true after all: that Paranormal will scare your wits out. I don't normally like horror films because it takes days for my brains to get rid of those disturbing scenes (like that long-haired girl coming of the well in The Ring). So before I watched Paranormal, I visited imdb to read Paranormal's bloopers (those mistakes that inanimate a movie no matter how scary or serious or straight it is).



Armed with those goofs, I sat at the cinema waiting for Paranormal to scare me. Nothing in the first 30 minutes. It was true then that it took a long time for the movie to build up. And then it happened: the cupboards suddenly opened. It jolted me a bit but the moviegoers -- mostly Kuwaiti bachelors armed with popcorn and knick-knacks -- just laughed. True, the scene was funnier than scarier. The next scary scene was when the baby levitated (but again it looked funnier than scarier).  Even when the was dragged lifelessly by an unseen something, I can't feel anything but boredom.

The last 15 minutes of the movie which are supposed to frighten us just pissed us off.  We didn't even realize that the movie ended had it not been for the end credits.  Walang bulaga factor!

Paranormal 2 is not ghostly; it's ghastly. Or perhaps the way the Kuwaiti authorities censored it left the movie worthless. (I saw Eat Pray Love two weeks ago but only had the Eat and Pray scenes without the Love because of the way they censored the kissing and fondling scenes. It's weird, really.)

Paranormal 2 is not at all scary but just the same, I left my lights on last night. Hmmm...and tonight as well.