Warning: This post about those hidden spots is definitely not suitable for young audiences. If I were you, I'd rather read about my lessons on love.

Why is it when we talk of sex, either the organs or the acts, there's always that patina of guilt and restraint? Like we don't want our family to know that we once secretly enjoyed reading Xerex, that sometimes even inside the church, we get impure thoughts, that there are people we meet everyday with whom we fleetingly imagine having sex with.

This post is not a comprehensive discussion of sex; just a brief brush of the g and the p spots (no pun intended).

These are my caveats: I strongly believe that in sex, there's no such thing as right or wrong, except when taken with a stranger who refuses to do it with you, or with something inanimate or with a non-person. It must be agreed mutually and never, ever done with a minor. Secondly, I don't espouse extra-marital affair or sex out of marriage. Thirdly, I'm not an expert; just being naughty this Valentine.

For me, these are the most erotic parts of the body: the ear, the neck (particularly below the ear), the lips, the breast, near the pelvis, both thighs, the penis and the vagina. Unless we're pressed against time, let's not dive into the situation right away. If you can, venture away from it and lick (yes, using your tongue!) those erotic parts as gently as you can.

Now let's concentrate on the spots.

G-spot, books say, is the most erotic part of a female. Touching it (together with the clitoris and the urethra) gives pleasure to the woman. Fondle the g-spot to stimulate it, and stroke it gently with either your middle or fore finger and mostly your tongue. The movement should mimic that of flirtingly calling someone to 'come here' using your finger or like taking that elusive part of a 'kuhol' using your tongue.

In bed, when she moans, unless she's good at faking things, don't stop. Vary your position when you get tired.

Let's go to a man. To pleasure him, try licking everything else except his genital. Concentrate on his p-spot but first ensure that your partner has washed thoroughly. Salted eggs are best taken with rice or on top of ensaymada. P-spot is man's most erotic part. It's above the opening of the rectum and that stem beneath the ball. Lift the balls and feel it. If you can't find it, go ahead, don't be shy, ask your man where his p-spot is. Then tongue it.

Do everything as slowly as possible. Never haste. Unless you're playing basketball, never dribble. Slide in a rhythmic fashion. And never stay in one place for too long. Vary.

Don't be too shy to feel using your hands. X-rated films always show rough sex with lots of oohhs and aahhs and shriekings. Don't be fooled thinking that the noisier the sex, the better. Duh. Noise has nothing to do with it. In fact, sex, the act, is like a slow dance ritual. It must be suave and gentle; wet and sweaty and steamy. And the only sounds you must hear are the beating of your hearts and the slow, rhythmic panting of two souls.

I'm done.

Shari Cruz's Give and get knock-your-socks-off sex discusses these spots more clearly; her article actually inspired me. And then there's this web article that promises the ultimate technique in reaching the peak of or---. Oh, please just read them!

This post is definitely so un-me!!! (Magmalinis b?)