Dramatic Ant-eulogy

Dear God...if I will become an ant in my next life, let me not be a bathroom ant.

Scene: Inside our bathroom

I was lounging in the loo for my usual 'call of nature' thing, flipping an old magazine which I've already read ten times (there are people who smoke inside the loo while poo-ing; I read. Okay. I smoke and read.) when I suddenly noticed an ant floating in the pail filled with water.

Seemed lifeless.

(I heart ants. I thought they're the most self-sufficient, industrious, humble creation of God).

I scooped it with my finger and daintily laid its body on top of the white sink. It moved. It's alive!

Limping, the ant crawled. One foot at a time. I can't see whether it's drying itself or it's painfully twitching its body. How was I to know?

All of a sudden, I felt a surge of pity for the ant. Nowhere in our two square meter bathroom do I see any other ants. For an ant, our small bathroom could already be its whole world! Even if he makes it limping, who'd take care of him. Where's his family? And why am I suddenly calling the ant a 'he'?

For a few sec, I thought of playing God and lynch the ant to death. Euthanasia.

But I thought, maybe there's a bigger reason why I saved him. Maybe God has a reason why He made me save the ant. Maybe the ant is destined to become the leader of all ants living in the vast expanse of our bathroom.

The sad part is I will never know. Ever. Because as soon as I finished poo-ing, the ant was gone. Maybe it committed suicide and jumped from the sink to the floor.

I looked. It's not on the floor.

Maybe God gave the ant its wings and it flew while I'm hosing myself.

Maybe the ant assumed in ant's heaven.

Or maybe the ant was just my imagination.

I soaped my hands. I brushed my teeth. And before I turned off the bathroom lights, I muttered a silent prayer: God, if you're going to make me an ant in my next life, let me not be a bathroom ant.

Will OFWs remain voiceless in 2010?

Six years ago, President Gloria Arroyo signed into law the Overseas Absentee Voting Act (RA 9189). Sadly, it appears to be a futile exercise; a waste of money.

Why?

Because only a fraction of the 7 million Pinoy overseas worldwide actually registered in 2004 and 2007 Elections. Apathy? Walang pakialam?

The latest statistics are appaling; "less than half of 1% of the targeted one million OAVs for 2010 elections have so far been achieved" (GMA News TV, 12 May 2009).

In 2004, 64.89 percent of 359,296 registered OAVs voted in the 2004 elections. In 2007, there were 504,124 registered overseas voters, but only 16.21% cast their ballots (ABS-CBN News).

We are supposed to be heroes, but why are our voices muted?



Registration for OAV runs until August 31. Please let's enjoin our fellow OFWs to register. Come 2010, let's not have an excuse not to vote. Even if, God forbid, Erap is allowed to run.

(Acknowledgements go to FreeSFX for the music. Apologies for the size of the movie. I honestly don't know how to minimize the loading time).

Susie's Big Adventure is Blocked

Susie's Big Adventure is an award-winning blog of an expat in Saudi. It's now blocked. Why?

Susie is an American married to a Saudi man. Her family is now residing in Saudi Arabia. Susie's Big Adventure is a blog that contains Susie's narrative of her life in and her views of and about Saudi. Recently, she won the 2009 Weblog Award for Best Asian Blog.

I admire her blog because her writing is honest, insightful and very informative.

This evening, I found that her site is blocked. If you click the screenshot below, it's supposed to take you to her site.

I hope it's just a glitch.


This screenshot is from Flicker.

In crisis over the AI results

Utter rubbish. That's what Simon Cowell always say in American Idol. After last night's results, I agree.
It was two in the morning (Saudi time) when I finally conceded defeat. That's four hours before the American Idol was announced. All the statistic sites I visited (from Dial Idol) indicated that, by a very small margin, Kris Allen won over my favorite Adam Lambert.

I think even in my sleep, I dreamt of AI. Early morning today, I woke up needlessly to visit ustreamtv to confirm my worst nightmare (I've a flair for drama, ain't I?!).

Finally, it's over. Kris won. And I lost.

I lost a bet that Adam will win (goodbye to my SAR 100!).

Frankly, I thought Adam is a better singer. Watching the video, seeing Kris seemingly unbelieving and speechless in his victory, I thought his body language showed that, deep in his heart, he knew that Adam deserved the title.



If you cannot open the video above, click this link.

It's an 'idol' competition

But it was not just a singing competition, it was an 'idol' competition. How can people (the American people) idolize Adam who is an open gay, who stretches out his tongue when he sings (like how the devilish KISS do it), who the media regard as representing the dark (while Kris Allen is the light)?

Kris won, not because he is a good singer over Adam, but because people perceived him to be a 'better person'(pro-Kris capitalized on him being a newly-married, church-going man) than Adam (who's gay and therefore perceived to be haughty and evil). That Adam is an open-gay sealed his fate and robbed him of the AI title. It saddens me. (Here are some trivia: Kris and Adam were roommates at the AI house because they both are very picky when it comes to neatness; Adam, behind the scene, is said to be soft-spoken like Kris).

I was telling myself, it's only a hundred riyals. Well it actually isn't. I lost my pride too because, among my friends, I was the only one openly rooting for Adam. And once again, I was wrong in my choice.

I'm glad AI's over. I'm glad I saw Tatiana who gave me the loudest laugh.

I'd have to find better things to do than be gloomy over this contest. Haya! I lead a very dreary life! ('haya' is life in Arabic).

A 'beauty' contest in Saudi for the morally beautiful

Beauty contests are money-making machines...
One thing that I'm certain I'm never going to see is a Saudi Arabian candidate in Miss World or Miss Universe (or even the Philippine-sponsored Miss Earth). Even though I've only seen a few of Saudi women's faces (because most of our employees wear niqab -- that black veil Muslim women wore over their faces), in my opinion, Saudi women possess good-looking features: pointed nose, deep-seethed eyes, beautiful teeth, pearly skin, etc.

Imagine then my surprise when this morning I read about 'Miss Beautiful Morals', a beauty contest in Saudi Arabia.

“The idea of the pageant is to measure the contestants’ commitment to Islamic morals . . . It’s an alternative to the calls for decadence in the other beauty contests that only take into account a woman’s body and looks,” Khadra al-Mubarak, the event’s founder, said.

Here's how the pageant works: The nearly 200 contestants will spend the next 10 weeks attending classes and being quizzed on themes including "Discovering your inner strength," "The making of leaders" and "Mom, paradise is at your feet" - a saying attributed to one of Islam's most important tenets on respect to elders.

Contestants will also spend a day at a country house with their mothers, where they will be observed and graded by female judges on how they interact with their mothers, al-Mubarak said.

Now in its second year, the number of pageant contestants has reportedly tripled (from the 75 women who participated in 2008). The pageant was opened to women between 15 and 25, and the winners will be announced in July somewhere in Safwa. The title merits $2,600 and the runner up $1,300.


The photo, courtesy of Yahoo, is that of Khadra al-Mubarak showing brochures of the 'Miss Beautiful Morals' contest.

My take on the subject

Saudi women are beautiful. They can easily trounce their opponents if ever they join these so-called 'decadent' beauty contests.

But all the beauty contests we see on television are there for business. To rake money via paid adverts, paid sponsors, paying public, exclusive rights, etc. Is Miss Beautiful Morals no different? I think not. I may commend it for having a different set of criteria than the trite swimsuit/gown/Q&A routine of other beauty contests, but if you're really a woman with morals, would you flaunt it for money?

I think moms would love the Saudi censors

I've not been to China and they said the censorship there is worse than Saudi.
I guess my being in Saudi for too long has tweaked my brains for actually liking the way Saudi censor (some, not all) things. This is my personal opinion and I'm not exactly sure if my own mother would agree with me: a few things that the Saudi Government ban from Saudi are actually a few things a mom would ban from her kids.

These are disallowed in Saudi.

Pornographic sites

If you want to oogle at naked pictures of women (or men) in the internet, this is what you'll likely run into:


All internet traffic go to King Abdulaziz City for Science & Technology where it gets filtered. Reportedly, the following sites are blocked: anything pornographic or deemed "immoral" or "any sites critical of the Saudi Government" (Wikipedia) including those "related to drugs, bombs, alcohol, gambling and pages insulting the Islamic religion or the Saudi laws" (New York Times).

Advert/news photos showing immodestly-clad women

Although Tanduay Rhum will never advertise here in Saudi (not that there is no market here for wine drinkers -- because I think there IS, and in fact I think it's huge! -- but wine is totally banned in Saudi), and in case they do, this is what their censored advert will look like:

If you want to see the original photo, click this Tanduay site.

Any kissing, steamy, lurid scenes on films or tv

Kissing scenes are cut, as well as anything steamy, hot and lurid. Songs that contain swearings are not normally played. Or if there is a sh-t word in the lyrics, it gets blipped like in Alanis Morisette's 'Ironic' (I'm brave but I'm chicken-blip!).

There are also no rallies here, no welga.

What are allowed?

  • Blogs critical of the Saudi Government, Saudi official or Saudi practices (unless the site becomes so famous, THEN, it gets closed).
  • Free-to-air channels that show women in skimpy bikinis. A few months back, Hotbird opened their 24-hour triple-X channels and it ran for a few months! And then they limit it to wee hours in the morning. And finally it got scrambled. What a tease!
  • Web chatting (although I heard that some chat rooms are inaccessible from Saudi -- particularly those sexual in orientation).
  • Sites related to other religions.
  • Torrent sites where you can download all the smuts you want.
My take on the subject

Some Filipino expatriates in Saudi say that they do not enjoy staying in Saudi because it lacks freedom. Ironically, they've been here for more than ten years now!

Personally, I don't feel ill-equipped because I'm not able to view porno sites or watch porno movies (including those fronting-as-indie-but-riddled-with-tits-assess-and-peckers films). I don't feel something's a-miss in my life because I can't drink wine nor eat pork. There's no Catholic Church in Saudi for a Sunday Mass but I manage to attend a Catholic eucharistic mass every Sunday. (Actually, the only thing that I'm particularly missing in Saudi are libraries like the Goethe House in Quezon City or the Thomas Jefferson Center in Makati or the National Library in Manila!).

I regard myself as a 'sinauna' (backward, is it?). That should explain why I'm fine with the censorship in Saudi.

Saudi judge said it's okay to slap your wife

Is there such a period when it's okay to slap your wife?
This news appeared on the same day as we celebrated the Mother's Days.


Jihad Watch had a very enlightening discussion about the Qu'ran verse (4:34) where the judge based his approval on. A very good read.

A third-hand experience

A friend sent me a 'padala' to his wife. I met the wife and here was our conversation.

(Wife opening the envelop containing some money) Only this?

Yeah.

Haaay...this will not be enough.

(I didn't say anything. I was actually thinking how ingrate the woman is! Seriously.)

I'll call him.

Okay.

Oh, sorry. I forgot to thank you. Can I send you a package for my husband when you return to Saudi? When's your departure?

Friday next week. (Of course, I didn't give her my real departure date. And I also didn't give her my correct phone number).

My take on the subject

I'm glad I'm not married. If, in case, I am, and if, in case, I had a wife who spends so much than we can afford and who leaves my kids hungry just so she can buy a Hermes bag, I'll definitely return her to her mother. Seriously.

Answer: None. Ever.

Mom, thank you.

Happy mother's day...

For whose womb I stayed for nine full months.

For whose hands cradled me to sleep.

For whose voice lulled me sweetly when I cry.

For whose arms rocked me in my sleepless nights.

For whose lessons I kept up to this day.

For whose life I look up to.

For whose nights are filled of prayers for me.

For whose dreams are all for my well-being.




For the woman I called mama.

Thank you.

My love and gratitude go to all the mothers in the world.

Mirror conversations: Blog-hop-happy

Once upon a time, in my blog-hopping days, I met Garando and Garandee...
Finally!

Finally, what?

I found it.

Found what?

Garando's blog. I mean, Balut and Natto's blog. I've been looking for it eversince I read it some months back. I didn't even know how I came about their blog.

What's there in Garando's blog?

I liked their humour. I liked Garando and Garandee's humour. Plus I also liked the photos of their travel.

PEBA material?

Can be. Maybe. Maybe more.
In bloghopping, we find treasures like their blog.

(Think again before you say that this is a paid advert, because it isn't. I just happen to love their blog, that's all.)

Mirror conversations: Hopeful for Pinas

Now is not the time for apathy.
Have you read Kiko Pangilinan's article about the Philippines having genuine hope?

Yeah.

And...?

I didn't like it. I thought it's a kiss-ass article. I was more impressed with the readers' comments.

You don't like Kiko?

Nah. Neither Sharon.

Me, either.

(Picks my nose, clips the hair protruding from my nostrils).

But you believed in Kiko's points?

None of it.

None?

Jim, the commenter, wrote it better. At least Jim's not a kiss-ass. I think he's a teacher.

I think so too.

(Curses. There's another hair to clip!).

You are no longer hopeful of the Philippines?

Of course, I am!

So why didn't you like Kiko's article?

Because he's a politician. Worse, he's a presidentiable. Nothing true can come out of any politicians.

At least you must have a positive view about the topic? Or something?

Discipline. That's what we lack. If only Filipinos would individually discipline himself, then there'll be change. (Scoffs). Especially those politicians! They're actually our servants, you know?

Uhum.

And please let's not be mayabang. I think all Pinoys are nauunahan ng yabang all the time. We should always be humble of our achievements and never, ever rest on our laurels. If we are better now, strive to be the best.

Am I sensing something here?

I'm being serious. We cannot be the best unless we are disciplined, true to our words, honest and willing to commit.

That's why you made a committment to Ako Mismo?

That's why I committed to doing something in Ako Mismo. We can no longer be apathetic about the Philippines. We have a voice; we needed to be heard. All Pinoys must take the burden of making the Philippines better.

Being serious, heh?

Talks of patriotism always anger me.

There's another hair to clip.

Shit. You're right.


Now is the time for change. For the better. For the Philippines.

Mirror conversations: Part 1 of many

It's hard if half of yourself is a bitch...

Why I'm not surprised. I told you there are better designs than yours. And you thought you did well. Well, you didn't.

But I joined only for fun.

Soothe yourself, lick your wound, smile. The point is you cannot beat them.

I said I only joined for fun.

Whatever.

Azel's design is nice. Actually they're all nice.

You could have done better.

Yes, I could have done better. But you must admit that my post in Ako Mismo is good.

Yeah. After writing such a lame pledge.

Hey, that's not lame. To promise one's self that you're going to be better is something that's not at all lame.

But you could have put something more concrete.

Like what?

Like...like...putting up a foundation for a free education. That would be nice. Ala'Ophra in Africa.

Am I Ophra?

(Chuckles). I forgot. You're poor and you're an OFW.

Just what do you mean by that?

You're poor. You don't even have a decent savings for yourself. That's because you're an OFW who thinks you can help everyone.

Sorry?

Aren't all OFWs like that? They think of helping everyone of their relatives and in the end forgetting about themselves.

Are we like that?

Yeah. And if you will not change, one of these days you'll find yourself penniless, jobless and cursing those people you've helped because they cannot help you in return.

I won't be like that.

Won't be like what? Poor? OFW? You're not going to be an OFW forever. And pleeease...don't consider yourself rich because you're not.

I'm satisfied with what I have.

(Rolls his eyes). Defeating lines of defeated people.

Hey, I'm not a defeated person.

Whatever.

I said, I'm not!

Fine! But remember what I'm going to tell you: You're not defeated YET. But if you don't change your ways, you'll BE.

What ways? What ways?!

Don't loathe. That's all.

Loathe? What loathe? Where are you?!

(And then I saw my own reflection once again).

...but then sometimes, the bitch is right. And I'm awakened.

Ako, Isladenebz, mismo!

By saying ako mismo, I'm affirming that I, myself, will do the work...
Mismo is a reiteration of something important, sort of affirming something.

When we say 'ako mismo', it's affirming, confirming and reiterating that we will do the work, will take charge of something, be responsible for it.

Ako Mismo, the website, asks: Ano ang gagawin mo para sa kinabukasan ng bayang ito?

As of this writing, there are now 36,542 pledges from Filipinos around the world who have answered the question, who have signified their committments to helping the Philippines.



The site narrates:

"AKO mismo is about YOU…

… making a stand and taking real action for the causes you believe in. Causes that you yourself can truly pursue to make a real, positive difference to your fellow countryman, to your country."

In AKO MISMO you get to choose the cause you wish to pursue. No cause is too small as long as it is a noble one. All we ask is that you make a pledge to do it...

No matter how small, as long as you pledge that you yourself will take action, it’s sure to make a big difference.

Giving more hope for Filipinos to stop merely surviving, and start living. And it starts with you.

MISMO yan."


I've made a stand

As an OFW, I will ensure that my work will be reflective of what Filipinos truly are: resilient, dedicated, inventive, honest.

As an OFW, I will continue to perform quality work. (After all, isn't it the prime reason why we are always the first choice of employers abroad?)

Ako mismo ang kikilos para sa bayan ko.



How about you?



[Thanks to Pink Tarha from whom I saw this Ako Mismo site.]

My entries to PEBA 2009 Badge Contest

In response to Kenjie's call for the design of PEBA 2009's badges, I (without prior knowledge in color combinations and totally inept of Photoshop) literally toiled nightly to come up with a decent design entry.

(My boss also told me I'm color blind so please pardon me for any color mismatch in these badges).

Haven't you noticed yet my endless excuses? Ehem, I'm just being dramatic. Paawa ba. Frankly, I wanted this to be better and I guess, given more time, I could come up with a better design. (And by then it's already PEBA 2011!).

Below are my produce.

Proposed theme badges

Size (400 x 354)





Proposed badge for the nominated blogs

Size (200 x 180)
PEBA-Nominated

Proposed badge for the winning blogs

Size (200 x 180)
PEBA-Winner

Here's the PSD file for the winner badge in case someone wants to modify it. I wouldn't mind as long as it's to be used for PEBA. (To download it from http://www.4shared.com/, login using your Google account).

PS: My design is based on...

This addendum is based on Yanah's comments (see below) about including a reason for the design.

Perhaps I could just explain about my color choice.

I chose light and heavy tinted gold (if it's not gold to you then it validates my being color blind) because it's for a blog contest. Whoever wins this contest gets a badge that is colored gold. Secondly because gold is the color that's akin to winning the top prize.

Why the butterfly? It's in the original design of PEBA done by Kenjie and noticeably, it represents the colors of the Philippine flag.

Greatest, greater, great

Saudis read from left to write. And being in Saudi, I'd go for the best topic first.

Greatest

Manny Pacquiao won! In under six minutes! And I thought Aling Dionesia being in America and Martin Nievera singing the National Anthem will be jinx to Manny. Well, Aling Dionisia's prayers must be really effective. Just kidding. I believe it's all because of Manny -- his dedication, his tenacity, his patience, his perseverance.

I'm proud of you Manny Pacquiao! (But I still won't vote you if you run in the next elections!)

Greater

Google Analytics amaze me! You just don't know what information I've managed to get from it since I installed it in my blog some...ah...months ago (I think). If you want to sign up for it (you can use your Google account), visit this Google site.

The great-er thing about this is that I saw the figures of my blog visits! Yehey! I have constant visitors!

Here's a screenshot of my top 20 visit sources during the recent month.

This is the full image of the screenshot.

I don't know what the number represents. All I know is that I'm grateful to you guys and I hope you come and visit me constantly. So thank you to those Pinoy bloggers in My Top 10 Visitors This Month: The Pope, Kenjie, Sardonyx, Azel, RJ and NJ. And thank you too Google, Blogger and Expat Blog!

(And of course, those others in my analytics' list, thank you, thank you, too).

Great

I've a post (whew! after a few days of being in a lull). And yes, I'm almost finished with my PEBA badge. Tonight, perhaps, I'll post it. Great!

Seven last works

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