This may come as a surprise to some, but it's nothing new.

Yes -- men, like women, gossip.

Whether it's less or more is debatable.

For someone who worked in the Middle East for a long time, I've seen how a kabayan would rumor-monger about a colleague who pissed him off, or about someone else's wife (and life), or about his boss who never changes his clothes, or who has halitosis in the office, or who has a thryst with whom, etc.

In my transfer to Kuwait, I learned the juiciest chismis about the office from male colleagues (partly because in our office, men outnumber women 8:1). In Saudi where I never had a chance to work with women, it's pretty obvious that the juicy 'news' about other people's lives were dished out by male colleagues.

Read this line from an article in UK Telegraph: A study "...found that men felt better about themselves when they criticised another person's behaviour. It gave them a sense of moral superiority and showed others that they knew the difference between right and wrong." Instead of calling it gossiping, "they call it networking instead".

In an NYT article, it reads that cavewomen invented gossiping "to pass the time while the guys were out hunting mastodons...In an era when the mastodons come frozen from the supermarket, it seems that men have discovered there might be something interesting about this 'gossip' thing after all."

Men indulge in gossip more than women about secret liaisons, inept lovers and overpaid colleagues, according to Daily Trust article.

It helps boost their confidence, says in the article's survey of American college students.

Holly Hom, a PhD student at the University of Virginia who did the survey, asked a group of students to write a weekly diary, noting how they felt when they gossiped about people. She said it was clear that both sexes enjoyed passing on mischievous information about others, but men enjoyed it more.

Presenting her findings at the American Psychological Society's annual conference in Toronto, she said the report challenged the widely-held view that women gossiped more than men. She said: "Men definitely seem to be getting more out of gossiping than women."

"We found that men felt better about themselves when they criticised another person's behaviour. It gave them a sense of moral superiority and showed others that they knew the difference between right and wrong."

In Philippine mileau, showbiz gossip shows sell not only among women but also among men. The showbiz talk shows niche which used to be dominated by women like Inday Badiday and Christy Fermin and feisty-talking hosts like Boy Abunda and Alfie Lorenzo, now see the presence of straight men like Paolo Bediones and Joey de Leon and straight-looking men like Ricky Lo and Butch Francisco).

TMZ, that gossip franchise on TV (also seen in the Middle East over DubaiOne), has straight men reporting (er, dishing out) news in an office-type sorrounding where everyone is engaged in a chit-chat about the lives of celebrity they've recently photographed or caught on video.

Miss Hom added that rather than creating strife in the office, gossip tended to relieve the stress of arduous work and the long hours spent in front of a computer screen. She said: "It is a vital function of social inter-action. Often it helps to break the ice among people."

No longer should we feel guilty then. On to another discussion about someone else's life! Hehe.


The borderline between gossiping and telling stories is slim. The borderline between a good and bad chismis is likewise thin. I read from somewhere that if you are embarrased being named as the source of an information, then why spread it in the first place. Or if the line starts with 'atin-atin lang 'to', it definitely is chismis. Most likely it's true and most likely it's private hence NOYB (or none of your business). Unless it's okay for you to be the butt of chismis next time, then shun away from it. Unless you can manly say 'yes' when someone blurts out: sabi ni ano, sinabi mo raw e!, then be the pitstop of chismis. Take it from me; I've been inconvenienced by knowing and talking too much.

If someone talks about someone else's lives, and not his', stare and pretend to listen. I learned that if we act unexcited about a 'chismis' (poker-faced, looking elsewhere as if in a hurry for something more important, or standing up as if to get coffee or photocopy or something), then we'll be spared from being the pipeline of chismis.

I admit though that it's enjoyable hearing about other people's lives. Is it a sin to secretly derive satisfaction from a chismis? Is it still a sin if a chismis stops with me?

Regardless of whether it's girly, gayly or manly, gossiping will always be in our lives -- directly, indirectly, otherwise -- in the office, at home or even in the streets. I guess what we can do about it is put some sense to it. We are, after all, all thinking being. What's that golden rule again? Don't do to others what you don't want others to do unto you. And yes, if the urge to gossip persists, consult your doctor, or make sure you have medical insurances in case someone hits you for being a rumor-monger.